Sometimes I wonder if this is how my children see me. I mean Skyler did pray the other night that mom and dad would not yell at him anymore (sad!) This picture just describes how I feel sometimes. When Thais was born I felt sorry for moms who expressed feelings of how hard motherhood was. I would listen to them politely but deep down I just felt bad for them because I knew I would adore motherhood every single step of the way. Almost six years later I still love being a mom but man oh man this is harder than I thought. Sometimes I watch 19 and Counting and I think, " Why can't I be like Michelle Dougar!" She has NINETEEN children and she is always perfectly calm and sweet at all times. Granted she has never met Skyler the Rhino Monson :), but still something tells me she could still do it. I just had a day the other day where I cleaned chocolate milk up on the carpet, chased a three year old who ran out of the store three times and later scolded the same three year old for scratching his baby sisters face. I mourned over a $140 dollar doll house that was broken by my five year old who could care less because in her mind money really does grow on trees. There were ear infections, grumpy kids, late appointments and never ending dishes and piles of laundry. In the chaos of it all I am afraid that my own face mirrored this crazy mom picture a few times. It was a little bitter sweet to hear Thais declare at the end of the day, "Mom I am going to be so good for you because you are sad a lot because you have to do really hard things!" Ouch right!
Today I think I am going to bury the "crazy mom" in me and slow down. I am going to let "cool mom" take over and soak in the time I get to spend with my kiddos. I have a baby on my lap with the best kissing cheeks in the world and a cute little boy in a spider man costume who is asking me to play "spider man" with him.
Okay so I just went into the living room and Skyler has colored all over my couches with green crayon....wish me luck!
4 comments:
If you haven't already, read this...
http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
You're an amazing mom, Danielle. Seriously, an inspiration to me. Give Skyler a big fat hug from me!
-Margaret
Try using hairspray to get that crayon out of the couch. It worked for me with pen and marker.
I can totally relate to this post. I think most moms can...once their kids get into the naughty/busy stage. You are a good mom. If you care about improving yourself and want to be a better person than I think that says good things about you as a person:) I have often felt that my downfall as a mom is yelling, it is a hard one.
Oh boy! Right there with ya! And if there's a mom who says she isn't, well...she's lyin'. :) Just today McRae asked me out of the blue..."Mom, are you mad at me?" It made me chuckle because it was seriously out of the blue...things were going good and we were having a fun day, but later I thought, "Man...I sure hope he doesn't think I'm ALWAYS mad at him."
yep, hardest thing I've ever done! Tomorrow is always a new day, I have to tell myself. And I have to really trust that when I pray that the Lord can take away my PAST parenting sins so I don't have the weight of those pulling on me while I try to avoid FUTURE (inevitable) parenting sins. So much harder than I expected, but also so much better? Possible?
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