I don't know how many of you have read the Eyre books, but I have heard through several sources that they are fantastic and have recently finished my first one. This particular book A Mother's Book Of Secrets was written by Linda Eyre and her grown daughter and it is a book filled with perspective and a myriad of "secrets" that they have discovered while raising their own families of nine and five. I loved this book for several reasons but I think overall I appreciate the fire it ignited in me to embrace Motherhood like never before and work more diligently; treating motherhood as a career rather than flying by the seat of my pants all of the time. Motherhood as a career is a concept this book really tries to drive home. It involves more family meetings (both as a group and one on one with your children) goal setting, family mantras, traditions, vacations, play time, work time, ways to communicate, ways to teach, how to love...It's basically a whole lot more work than any job I've ever had and yet I feel this excitement about taking on a new challenge and striving to better myself as both a mother and a person.
Today is day two of putting these motherhood secrets to test. My goal: Be more present with my children and find a brilliant, creative way to get my darlin' three year old to stop whining! I am liking the being present part. Thais answered my cell phone today and my friend asked what she was doing and she said," Oh, just playing with my mommy!" I feel bad admitting it, but that would not always be her answer on any given day. I find my self all too often trying to find something to entertain the kids so I can do what I want to do. The last two days we've made job charts, learned numbers, read books, learned how to make the bed, learned how to fold her clothes and played with her doll house again, and again...I want my kids to feel like I want to spend time with them! I'm not going to lie sometimes I play while thinking of a million things I'd rather or really need to do but my hunch is that all of this will pay off in the end and more and more I will cherish the time I devote to quality time with my children.
As far is the whining...this one is going to be a challenge. Somehow my sweet daughter has conditioned herself to whine even when she is really happy. In her mind asking for something=whining. I have a instituted a "No Whining" rule with time out in her room as the punishment but I quickly realized the girl was never leaving her room. So yesterday I began something I call Whining Jacks. Each time she whines for something I say, "uh-oh, give me 10 whining jacks for that whine!" She gets a big grin on her face as she does the cutest jumping jacks ever, and then I invite her to try asking me again. So far this hasn't really prevented her from whining but she is quick to start again and she's responding to my new technique. It definitely beats having to be a grouchy mom, yelling threats of one more time out. If anyone has even more great ideas I would love to hear them!
For those of you who took the time to read this ridiculously long post, please don't watch me too carefully now! I am still a work in progress-I will still probably give in to the temptation of putting on a movie while I slip away to devour the Internet or I might not be the poster mother of patience when I'm listening to a whine-athon, but the inspiration from this book is that I want to work so much harder. I feel so blessed I was granted the challenge and the gift of being a mother!
8 comments:
Good post Danielle! As I was reading this earlier today I had Ellie trying to slip onto my lap for me to read her a book. I kept telling her to go find a toy in her room. As I finished the post I realized that I needed to do so much better at being present for her. Thanks for the reminder! I will be buying this book TODAY. Sure wish we still had book club so we could all discuss it together! :)
Thanks for the post. I'm going to have to try the whining jacks on Kjersti.
Thank you for this post, Danielle. It was exactly what I needed to read this morning. I share all of your same feelings as a mother. It's for sure the hardest job in the world! I am definitely going to get this book and read it! Like, today!
Alright, Danielley...this is how it usually works...you get excited or inspired about something and then you basically have me convinced to do it with you. So, one of these days I may actually reciprocate and be a good friend and inspire you in some way--but don't hold your breath. For now, thanks for being so great and for helping me to keep my focus and my aim a little higher. You help me in so many ways and I am looking forward to checking out this book. Thanks!
I remember the Eyre days! Wow they are still at it! I did their preschool program and read several of their books back in the day! They are awesome! Good job for starting your new program! It is a full time career and it has to be jumpstarted over and over again and be very intentional - but it is way worth the 20 year or so investment! It is here and gone and then you have the next 60 years to think about how you did! The best it gets is to have no regrets and know deep in your soul that you gave it your best effort every single day!
Danielley, I am so grateful to have you as my friend and to have you so close by during our crucial years as mothers. Thanks for your inspiration and for the tip about the book. You already always seem so calm and patient to me, and I am excited to keep trading ideas and secrets over the years as we continue to try to master this amazing career.
LOVE the whining jacks! The Eyers have such a wonderful program, I have looked at a lot of the things they do and have only used a small portion of it. here's to working harder on it and having friends to talk to about it!!
Thank you!
Danielle, I have an awesome book that my sister bought from her teacher store, filled with activities for toddlers-centered around seasons, fine motor development,art, songs & rhymes,early math & language skills, social & emotional development. Come take a look some time if you run out of activities Turner LOVES it. We try to do a song & activity a day.
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