Some Thoughts for My Daughter

My Dear Thaisy Bug:


I think three is the age when you have it all figured out.

Like the time when I was carrying a fresh plate of spaghetti over to the table, and watched suddenly as noodles went sliding off the plate onto our light carpet. You took one look at the noodles on the floor and my frustrated expression and said, “Don’t worry mommy, it was just an accident!”

Someday you will be 16, invigorated as you take on new freedom. There may be a bump or two along on the way and you will not remember the advice you gave when you were only three. But I will remember. And I will wrap my arms around you and say, “Don’t worry, It was just an accident!” And maybe for a moment you will feel three years old again and remember that you already had it figured out.

Like the day when we were shopping in the mall, and you saw a women slip and fall while walking up some steps. You didn’t waste any time walking over and putting your arm around her. “You have to be careful!” you said sweetly as your little heart went out to a stranger.

Someday you will be a child at recess. You will see bumps and bruises as kids play, but more importantly you will see kids who need an arm around their shoulders because their hearts have taken a fall. You will not remember how quickly you acted to comfort someone in need when you were three. But I will remember. I will teach you that the best way to be cool is to look out for the underdog and always be there when someone is hurt. And maybe for a moment this will all sound like something you already knew.

Like the afternoon in the park. You spotted a group of older girls on the tire swing that you wanted so badly to become friends with. You confidently went up to them and said, “Can I play with you?” They giggled and told you that you were too little to play on the tire swing. With a look of sheer determination you said, “I do it, I can do it!” They believed you and they spent the rest of the time spinning you round and round and round.

Someday you will have a goal you want to reach so badly. There will be obstacles and a harsh world telling you that you can’t. You will not remember how confident you were at three. But I will remember. I will look you in the eyes and say, “You do it. You can do it!” And maybe you will realize that this confidence existed long ago.

Like the countless shopping trips we made together where you made friends with everyone you met. You loved walking up to perfect strangers and asking, “What’s your name?” or “what are you doing?” or “So… how’s it going?” The effect was brilliant to watch. People instantly fell in love with your fearless nature and your eagerness to simply make a new friend.

Someday you will be a stranger in a new place. You will feel overwhelmed with loneliness or the fear of rejection. You will not remember how easily you made friends at three. But I will remember. I will tell you stories of how easily you engaged people and how you have the ability to make a friend everywhere you go. And maybe you will become vulnerable like when you were three. Back when you were always true to yourself…back when you had it all figured out.