but this little guy that I love is a bit of a hitter..and a tackler...and a hair puller outer! I am talking non stop slaps to the face and attacks on our hair. It's a little embarrassing when the YMCA day care wants my input on what they should do when he tackles and hits other children. They probably don't love my response which is, " I don't know, but if you stumble upon something brilliant PLEASE let me know!" I have no idea what to do! We try teaching him to be soft, I have tried hitting his hands, pulling his hair when he pulls ours, being stern, being soft, a time out in the crib...How the heck do you mold a 14 month old.
Any input would be great! In the meantime, the rest of the Monson family is currently walking around with little cuts on our faces and I'm pretty sure Thais has a few bald spots.
Oh Sky-Guy! I love you so, so, so stinkin' much and I will figure this one out kiddo!
6 comments:
Both of my big kids have gone through this stage-- at about the same age as Skyler also... it's a phase and it too shall pass! It's very embarrassing of course in public to have the hitter, but what can you do? I just grab their hands, look them in the eye and say "WE DO NOT HIT" and then distract them (move them across the room). Sometimes when I could tell they were going to hit someone I would say, "ONLY HUGS" and instead of hitting they would go into a huge hug instead (usually equally offensive to the child about to be harmed, but hey it's better anyways). He'll grow out of it but he doesn't need to get into deep trouble every single time. At least that's my opinion! If you HAVE to put him into time out for it, I always just said, "When you hit you may not be with us" and then left them in time out for a few minutes.
Wow, Jack never went through that phase. He's the kid in nursery that GETS hit, GETS his toys taken, ect. He's my tender-heart. As far as putting him in his crib for time-out, I'm going to give my advise whether you want it or not. I say Don't put him in his crib when he is being punished, then at bed when you WANT him in his crib, he might see it as the place he goes when he's bad. I don't think he's too young for time outs though. Get a 'naughty' mat, and make him sit on it, even for a few seconds, but what Tristen said was good, take his hands and sternly tell him you don't hit, then place him on that mat (or in the corner). I dunno Danielle! Good luck though. Me, i'm just patiently awaiting #2!
love him,, simply love him, merely love him, love him, love him, and while doing that be consistent, always saying the same thing, NO HITTING! I would just hold his hands down and count to 50 after saying it! That will seem like eternity, but if you do the same thing every time, he will get it eventually! It's just a phase - thank goodness he has a strong personality! He will need it to make it through this crummy world unscathed!
Well I simply cannot relate to this problem:) LOL! It is a very frusterating stage, but they do eventually grow out of it. Most important is just to be consistent. I think a lot of times it is the second child's way of getting attention, it doesn't matter if it is negative attention, they just want attention. Try spending some one on one time with him everyday so that he feels like he has some time just for him. Then beyond that, just be consistent in telling him no and whatever consequence you find works best for him. Another tip is to go and comfort Thais or the kid he hits before going to him so he doesn't get the immediate "attention" after hurting someone. Show him that the person who gets hurt gets the attention. Those are some things that have worked for us, but it is not a quick fix so be patient:)
This is a phase that I'm afraid you're just going to have to be patient through and ignore all the potential judgements from people in public (because the only person who will understand is the mother of a hitter or biter). I think you're doing a fine job trying to deter it, but I don't think there is a way to magically make him stop until he outgrows it. ( I do agree with the previous post about the crib and bed timethough). Good luck!
Wow! You've already received some great advice. The only thing I can add is this--where your attention goes, energy flows. So, if Skyler knows that hitting, biting, etc. gets a big reaction and lots of attention, then you're likely to see more of the same behavior. Even saying and practicing, "soft, soft, soft" can be giving too much attention to the issue. Simply, calmly, and unemotionally look Skyler in the eyes (and you may have to hold his hands) and tell him that hitting is not an acceptable behavior. Then leave it at that--walk away or continue doing what you were doing. At home, you can tend to ignore the behavior a bit more...meaning, give less attention to it. In public, you are obviously obligated to intervene but still try not to make a big scene out of it (apologizing profusely to other parents and children away from Skyler). And lastly, really, really, really praise the sweet things that he does. When you're attention goes there, his energy is likely to flow there, too. Good luck!
P.S. Have I ever mentioned anything to you about a parenting group I'm interested in? If not, let's talk about it!
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