I Think It's Working....

So, it has been a few weeks since my moment of inspiration after reading A Mother's Book Of Secrets by Linda Eyre and her daughter. I just thought I would share a few of my results:

Saturday, Jan 16th: After dragging Thais shopping with me most of the morning, I made it a point to spend some quality time with her in an activity more suited to her liking...we played dolls. I think I spent a solid hour just participating in the little world she creates while playing with her doll house and man if I didn't do my best to act like I was having THE TIME OF MY LIFE!! The reward came when after we were finished she went up to Jordan and said, "When I was little I didn't love my mama...but now I love her so much!" I think the spirit instantly translated that statement for me, because it didn't hurt my feelings. What her little heart was trying to say was, "I can tell my mom is making an effort with me and I love her for it!" What a reward!!

Friday, Jan 22nd: Thais smacked her brother in the face (in her defense Skyler always initiates it first) but still, we are working on not hitting back. Normally I get upset and send her to her room, but on this day I mustered up all of my composure and calmly told her that she had to go to her room and think of an "I'm Sorry" song to sing to her brother. I wish I had taped it, but here are her words:

Sky-Lee Boy

Sorry

didn't mean to

didn't mean to

but I always forgive

I always love you

but I always forgive

I'm so, so sorry!

We all laughed as she sang this song. Skyler was very amused, and it set the mood for me to end her punishment on a happy note as I told her that I know she can be an awesome big sister to her brother.

Friday, Jan 22nd: I REALLY needed to clean my house. My normal behavior is to turn on movies for Thais all day while I clean. This time I decided I could teach her to work with me. She has an obsession with getting to squirt the Windex bottle, so I let her squirt while I cleaned. At one point she randomly exclaimed,"We are having so much fun aren't we Mom!" She then proceeded to say that she loved me as we worked side by side. And finally when I kind of decided I had had enough (because her being in charge of the Windex means squirts on parts I have already wiped up and squirts in Skylee's face when she thinks I'm not watching) Thais said, "Mom, I think my muscles are done working now. I am going to let them sleep!" I thanked her for a job well done, and sent her on her merry way. It was a step in the right direction...

Saturday, Jan 23: I found out a few days ago that my Jordy would be cancelling all of our plans today because he has to lay flooring down at the gym. Oh, I was not happy! My initial thought was, "Great! Just another long day home alone with kiddo's!" Instead of doing that though...we played. We went to the movies, we played at two different play grounds.. ate at chick-fil-A. Tonight when I tucked Thais in bed I just talked to her for a while about her day. What made her happy, what made her sad, what her favorite thing is about Daddy, Me and Skylee etc. It was so awesome to see her eyes light up as she answered all of my questions. It's 9:45pm and I think I will go to bed--still with out Jordy.But it's funny, I am going to bed a happy woman :O)

Date Night

Three Reasons Why My date this Weekend was awesome:










On a side note, Jenn has introduced us to the art of "Dating In." Jordan and I take turns planning dates and the trick is if you are going to have a date night at home you really have to work on making it feel like a legit date. A few secrets are:

1) Put the kids to bed early. Skip late naps or do whatever you have to do to make sure you can get them down at a decent hour. We put Thais down at 7:00pm which is a little early but she just plays make believe in bed with her stuffed animals and then falls asleep around 8.

2) Dress up for it. Jordan came home this weekend and I looked like I had just rolled out of bed so he took the kids for 45 minutes while I spruced up for my man.I would have never headed out for a date looking like that pre-marriage so it's important to put the same effort in after you're married :O)

3) Pick an activity where you get to talk and connect with your spouse. It's tempting to just watch a movie when dating from home, but try making an effort to be creative and do things that allow for quality time. I loved our date that Jordan planned this week-end because it gave us time to talk and catch up on things we needed to discuss at the end of a busy week. We lit candles and talked over a spread of imported cheeses and then we played Yahtzee ( I always kick Jordan's Trash...so who doesn't love that!). Then, after the dating part, we ended with a movie!
4) Make the effort. Like all things in life it just takes a little discipline to make it work. We are loving not having to spend a fortune on paying to go out all of the time and after Jordan's been gone all week we are finding that it's nice to be home together....

Thanks again Jenn for the Idea! We Love it :O)

Some Thoughts for My Daughter

My Dear Thaisy Bug:


I think three is the age when you have it all figured out.

Like the time when I was carrying a fresh plate of spaghetti over to the table, and watched suddenly as noodles went sliding off the plate onto our light carpet. You took one look at the noodles on the floor and my frustrated expression and said, “Don’t worry mommy, it was just an accident!”

Someday you will be 16, invigorated as you take on new freedom. There may be a bump or two along on the way and you will not remember the advice you gave when you were only three. But I will remember. And I will wrap my arms around you and say, “Don’t worry, It was just an accident!” And maybe for a moment you will feel three years old again and remember that you already had it figured out.

Like the day when we were shopping in the mall, and you saw a women slip and fall while walking up some steps. You didn’t waste any time walking over and putting your arm around her. “You have to be careful!” you said sweetly as your little heart went out to a stranger.

Someday you will be a child at recess. You will see bumps and bruises as kids play, but more importantly you will see kids who need an arm around their shoulders because their hearts have taken a fall. You will not remember how quickly you acted to comfort someone in need when you were three. But I will remember. I will teach you that the best way to be cool is to look out for the underdog and always be there when someone is hurt. And maybe for a moment this will all sound like something you already knew.

Like the afternoon in the park. You spotted a group of older girls on the tire swing that you wanted so badly to become friends with. You confidently went up to them and said, “Can I play with you?” They giggled and told you that you were too little to play on the tire swing. With a look of sheer determination you said, “I do it, I can do it!” They believed you and they spent the rest of the time spinning you round and round and round.

Someday you will have a goal you want to reach so badly. There will be obstacles and a harsh world telling you that you can’t. You will not remember how confident you were at three. But I will remember. I will look you in the eyes and say, “You do it. You can do it!” And maybe you will realize that this confidence existed long ago.

Like the countless shopping trips we made together where you made friends with everyone you met. You loved walking up to perfect strangers and asking, “What’s your name?” or “what are you doing?” or “So… how’s it going?” The effect was brilliant to watch. People instantly fell in love with your fearless nature and your eagerness to simply make a new friend.

Someday you will be a stranger in a new place. You will feel overwhelmed with loneliness or the fear of rejection. You will not remember how easily you made friends at three. But I will remember. I will tell you stories of how easily you engaged people and how you have the ability to make a friend everywhere you go. And maybe you will become vulnerable like when you were three. Back when you were always true to yourself…back when you had it all figured out.

:O)

Oh, don't think there weren't a few little hints here and there which produced this baby...but isn't it amazing when you know they are picking up what you're putting down :O)

What The Heck Am I Thinking???????

Do you see the "I have conquered" look written all over this girl's face? This is because I think I have finally relented and we might just become....DOG OWNERS!

No we didn't steal it from Paris Hilton. Yesterday Kati C. brought this little puppy over (it had been found wandering the neighborhood.) We had the puppy come over for a few hours and Thais fell in LOVE with it. It turns out, the neighbor who had been taking care of it actually found it on the frontage road by our house. She told us she was looking for home for it, and soooo...we are going to try it out for a week.

Of course now if we give it up it might literally break Thaisy's heart! Hmmm, we'll just see how this goes:O)

The Holidays In a Nutshell

This is our first tree ever! We always leave home for Christmas so we haven't put up a tree because we don't stick around to enjoy it. This year we thought Thaisy should have a tree (I think I was more excited than she was!)





Thaisy was a big helper with the decorations! We put Skylee down to bed, blared the Christmas music and got to decorating.




Ta-dah!



Skyler woke up later that night and we brought him out to see our tree. Ya-hoo for shatter proof Christmas bulbs!

Skyler is obsessed with balls! Here he is making a mad dash with his treasures!

The annual Ugly Sweater Party! This year we got creative with Nadia and Tris and decided to wear sweaters or sweat shirts in this case of ugly schools. You gotta love the ASU/UofA rivalry!!

Julie's (sweater to the right) didn't win, but I think hers was my favorite. That is strung popcorn people!!

Me and beautiful Jenn! Sorry Jenn, you're just too darn cute to make a sweater look ugly!

Hyrum announcing the winner. Noah, you deserved it buddy..that is one UGLY sweater!



Christmas vacations begins! We started our trip by making a stop in Phx to see our friends James and Camille. We miss you guys!!

After spending the first few days of vacation puking (our family always gets some sort of weird bug when we're together) we headed off to see some good ole' man-made snow (that's as good as it gets in the Bay Area) to let the kids play and go sledding.

Here we are getting ready to take our first ride down the slopes!

How adorable are these hot pink snow girls? Thais had so much fun with her cousins!

Ever seen a Zonkey before????

The farm where we went sledding had an adorable petting Zoo. Dang Lex! I don't know who is cuter? You are that baby animal!

Thais was in HEAVEN! She adores animals and is still begging for that puppy. Still not ready to take on three kids...sorry Thaisy!

The highlight of our trip was seeing uncle Landon! Here he is making gingerbread houses with the kids.

This cousins all wrote letters to Santa and were thrilled when he actually wrote them back!

Here is a copy of the letter Thaisy received! They even got a candy cane in their letter (much to Thais's delight!)

Jordan reading Mele and Thais their letters from Santa!

Christmas Eve Festivities:

Opening new Jammies!

Attempting the Impossible: Getting the kids all together for a picture in their jammies!

(I love how Peni is poking Skyler's belly button!)

Mom rockin' out in her Santa hat! Believe it or not, this isn't the first time we've witnessed mom rockin' out on Christmas eve! Remember the talent show mom? :O) I think we have that on film somewhere...



Christmas Day

The classic picture of the kids waiting on the stairs to see what Santa brought.

I love love love the expression on Thais's face. Priceless!

Skyler opened this gift and he was good to go! He was pretty excited to have three new balls!

The trip ended with us driving to Parker AZ so Jordan could work for a few days. The kids and I went to Lake Havasu to see the London Bridge. Here is Thaisy feeding birds by the London Bridge...how Mary Poppins is that?

A picture of the Original London Bridge. How random that it resides in Arizona!

Thanksgiving

I think Thais's favorite part was hanging out with Abby and her friends. They were really cute with her :O)

What a cool Aunt! Here's Abby letting Skylee at the wheel already!

Marilynn's gorgeous decor!

The Thanksgiving party.

Skylee discretely letting us know he was all done with dinner :O)

Jordy helping Thais with her talent for the annual Monson Thanksgiving talent show!

I thought this picture was sweet. Jordan took Skylee out to play in the fall leaves...

I'm Inspired

I don't know how many of you have read the Eyre books, but I have heard through several sources that they are fantastic and have recently finished my first one. This particular book A Mother's Book Of Secrets was written by Linda Eyre and her grown daughter and it is a book filled with perspective and a myriad of "secrets" that they have discovered while raising their own families of nine and five. I loved this book for several reasons but I think overall I appreciate the fire it ignited in me to embrace Motherhood like never before and work more diligently; treating motherhood as a career rather than flying by the seat of my pants all of the time. Motherhood as a career is a concept this book really tries to drive home. It involves more family meetings (both as a group and one on one with your children) goal setting, family mantras, traditions, vacations, play time, work time, ways to communicate, ways to teach, how to love...It's basically a whole lot more work than any job I've ever had and yet I feel this excitement about taking on a new challenge and striving to better myself as both a mother and a person.

Today is day two of putting these motherhood secrets to test. My goal: Be more present with my children and find a brilliant, creative way to get my darlin' three year old to stop whining! I am liking the being present part. Thais answered my cell phone today and my friend asked what she was doing and she said," Oh, just playing with my mommy!" I feel bad admitting it, but that would not always be her answer on any given day. I find my self all too often trying to find something to entertain the kids so I can do what I want to do. The last two days we've made job charts, learned numbers, read books, learned how to make the bed, learned how to fold her clothes and played with her doll house again, and again...I want my kids to feel like I want to spend time with them! I'm not going to lie sometimes I play while thinking of a million things I'd rather or really need to do but my hunch is that all of this will pay off in the end and more and more I will cherish the time I devote to quality time with my children.

As far is the whining...this one is going to be a challenge. Somehow my sweet daughter has conditioned herself to whine even when she is really happy. In her mind asking for something=whining. I have a instituted a "No Whining" rule with time out in her room as the punishment but I quickly realized the girl was never leaving her room. So yesterday I began something I call Whining Jacks. Each time she whines for something I say, "uh-oh, give me 10 whining jacks for that whine!" She gets a big grin on her face as she does the cutest jumping jacks ever, and then I invite her to try asking me again. So far this hasn't really prevented her from whining but she is quick to start again and she's responding to my new technique. It definitely beats having to be a grouchy mom, yelling threats of one more time out. If anyone has even more great ideas I would love to hear them!

For those of you who took the time to read this ridiculously long post, please don't watch me too carefully now! I am still a work in progress-I will still probably give in to the temptation of putting on a movie while I slip away to devour the Internet or I might not be the poster mother of patience when I'm listening to a whine-athon, but the inspiration from this book is that I want to work so much harder. I feel so blessed I was granted the challenge and the gift of being a mother!